Working opposite shifts

So you're in a relationship and turns out you are working opposite shifts... is this gonna work?

I remember when I was younger, my parent was telling me about a friends spouse that worked the night shift. I never really paid attention as I was to young to really get it but I remember that memory vividly since I am currently in the situation.

When I first started dating my now husband, we were like two ships passing by each other.  He was working the nightshift and well I was on the 9-5 shift.  We were only able to really speak with each other very early in the morning when he was getting off work and I was just arriving at work, or at night when he was leaving for work and I was getting home. You get the idea.  The only positive thing was that we were off from work on the weekends and we spent them together.

During the week I felt alone. Almost all the time, my boyfriend was sleeping and I had no one to call or text as they do these days.  I had to wait for him to wake up to contact me and sometimes he couldn't contact me as he was running late or got called to go in to work  a little early.  I always had respect for him and never called in the middle of the day as he was sleeping, there are some people that just don't care it is horrible when I hear about them.

Well fast forward a year or so later and we moved in together. It was incredible that we managed to get thru with this schedule.  Shortly after we moved in he was moved to the second shift.  Instead of overnight we was working a 3pm - 11pm type shift.  Now he was gone all day and by the time he got home I was already sleeping and once again I couldn't wake him in the morning as he was sleeping. I don't know what was worse, night shift or mid day shift.  Dinner together was a distant memory and breakfast was gone too.  Again two ships just crossing in the night, or day.

This shift didn't last that long either as a day shift opened up within a few months and he jumped at it.  7am to 3pm, doesn't seem that crazy right? Well this one was even worse!  Because we lived an hour away from his job he had to give him self well over an hour and a half to arrive at work and of course time to get up and get ready so now he is getting up at around 5am to leave by 5:30 to make sure he gets to work on time. Which means he had to go to bed before 9pm to get enough hours of sleep. If he didn't get to be early enough he would be falling asleep while we were having dinner.

He eventually left that job and now works at a place with an even crazier schedule. Ha, you thought it was gonna get better? When he started out it was a 12 hour shift, 4 days on and 4 days off, rotating days to nights.  So this week he would work Monday - Thursday 7am till 7pm, and next week he would work Tuesday to Friday nights 7pm till 7am and so on.   What makes this difficult is the ability to make any plans!  He never has the same days off and with mandatory overtime we never know if he has any days off! Well he was not allowed to work 8 days straight so he had to get at least one day off.  Funny thing is he's been doing this for over 8 years now.  We recently moved to California and he works for the same company but they are a bit different out here on the west coast.  It is still a 12 hour shift but its 6am till 6pm and they rotate every 7 weeks.  Which means 7 weeks of day shift and 7 weeks of night shift. But the days still rotate with 4 days on and 4 days off.  This week he works Monday till Thursday and next week would be Tuesday to Saturday.  The only good thing about this schedule is vacation time.  His vacation week is equal to 12 days off.  He gets his working 4 days off plus the 4 days before and 4 days after those 4 days.  It takes time to get used to but lucky for us they supply us with an annual calendar to see in advance what days he is working.

Working opposite shifts does take its toll.  I miss him terribly and the TV still watches him when he comes home from work tired. But Ive learned to accept it as my reality.   I am usually up in the morning when he gets home from nightshift and I usually see him in the afternoon, even if it is for less than an hour.  He hasn't been on day shift for a few months, and that reason is a long story for another post. When he is on day shift I won't see him at all in the morning, but we would have dinner together, which is nice.

It is doable as long as your patient, supportive and understanding.  Ive heard stories of spouses causing all kinds of problems with this type of schedule.  My kids have become accustomed to staying quiet during night shift and Ive become more understanding.  Sleeping alone is something you get used to, I have a king size bed and even though he is not there most nights, I happen to stay on my side of the bed lol.

Does your spouse have a crazy shift?  It does have its advantages.  While on nights he can take my youngest to school if I can't, he can do dinner prep in the crock pot, he can hit the supermarket at 630am, ours is 24 hours... the only problem is the longer he is up and out the less time he will actually sleep as he always gets up at 4.

It takes practice to get into this routine.  We can't really have a conversation about anything important during the days he works because sometimes he is so tired he forgets, this is not the time to take advantage either. That would be cruel. He always gets these plans to do things on his days off like clean house, put together the piece of furniture, go here and there.  A lot of the time it never happens because he is just too tired. It does take its toll on his body so I don't complain. But thats the type of person I am. Once he gets moving theres no stopping him but the second he hits the chair he is out like a light lol.

Vacaville Wedding Officiant

Rev Wanda


Good day,

I am an ordained wedding officiant located in Vacaville California.  We moved out to the area in the summer of 2013 and its been an adventure.  We are still getting to learn new things all the time while living out here, and actually experienced our first earthquake a few months back.

Coming from New York, where I can't say I have never been thru one, I awoke during the night as if someone was shaking me awake.  People thought it was crazy for us to move out here and for me it was as I was just starting out my wedding business.

While I lived in New York I helped write customized ceremonies for all the couples I married. Together we took important events during the courtship and relationship and put them into words for all the guests to hear. Sometimes ceremonies lasted less then 10 minutes and other times it was closer to 30 minutes.

Now that I am more settled in our new place and area I am ready to hit the ground running!

I can perform all types of weddings: non denominational, religious, same sex, same day (when available)!

What is important to remember is that this is YOUR WEDDING DAY! My goal is to make it a magical for you, one you will remember for ever.  You can be romantic, sweet, funny, poetic, spiritual, write your own poems or none at all. I can write your vows or you can write them yourself. Include a ring blessing, brief prayer, or candle ceremony.  All included!  Each ceremony is unique to you.

Please be sure to view my link  Rev Wanda

Contact me via email or find me on Facebook.

Having Candle Bar at your Wedding

Ok you have seen it on 4 weddings. I admit I like watching that show if not for the ideas but for the way everyone thinks their wedding is the winner and watching someone else win, call me evil but its funny!

Im sure seen it!

Well one of the brides had a candle bar for wedding favors, what a fantastic idea! Not only can the guests make their own scent and but color combinations as well.  I would offer a hand full of scents and colors otherwise people would just go nuts, then again why not go nuts!! I would offer at least 2 or 3 different sizes/shapes of jars to fill and of course something to cover and take the fantastic favor home.

Even better, how about jars personalized with the bride/groom name and wedding date!

Be sure to put all these items on a separate table, dont forget wicks, scoopers and suggestions on scent combinations! Be sure to suggest combinations of the bride and grooms favorite scents!

Good Luck!